☃
Sometimes, I wonder if ever should just close one eye, and smog myself.
judazfx @ deviantART
I tend to "underlook" things at times, because I don't want to trouble myself with unnecessary issues. But today, after thinking through a few things which I didn't go further into, I realised that I've just been deluding myself.
I realised that my family have been making use of me, because I seldom lie to them. They make use of my "innocence" (I'm really true to my family, there's nothing that I should hide from them), and use them to help themselves. After thinking about it, I get quite pissed off.
My elder brother, my Mum. Maybe my dad, I don't know. I really don't like the way they are taking me as. It's like, taking me for granted. Yes, I should be doing this. But how come, my elder brother is not doing it? And you did it like I'm just a piece of cake for you to bite. I'm disappointed in them sometimes.
But all this while, I've been deluding myself; it's used for better purposes. Since I have no need for it now, I might as well just let them take it. Besides, I don't want to be useless, at least not any worse than my elder brother. At least, it kept me happy for awhile.
I'm not going to let this go on. I really don't like the fact that my elder brother is enjoying without burdens and I actually have to "carry" it for him. I'm still studying, hello.
Forget it, I should just continue blinding myself. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I didn't see certain things. It's okay, for now. Because when I grow up, you'll see.
*****************************************
WARNING: LONG POST. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
30th April
had my company BBQ today!
attempted to go to Labrador park after school, which ended at 6pm. took the train from Dover to Harbour Front, and I started my adventure to Labrador Park, via Foot.
spent awhile trying to get my way there. unfortunately, I made 3 wrong turns when I shouldn't even make them -.- It slowed my way down to the venue. argh.
a supposingly 25 min journey ended up to be about an hour long journey -.- but it's cool. had real fun walking my way there. at least I know the road there better. just a lil bit.
ate quite alot in the BBQ, about 20-30 satays, 2 lamb chops, stingray, sotong, ya da ya da ya da... actually feels great, 'cos everybody is not really talking about work. and it feels really at home, not as warm as I expected it to be. haha.. and we played Bridge! but some of them didn't really know, so spent a few minutes trying to explain the gameplay. But before they could even really get the hang of it, it ended
challenged the pull-up bar there. don't know why. just had a feel of "owning" it. but I've gotten weaker -.- managed to pull up only 5 times and I couldn't make it already. gaaaaah. I'll train harder! I'll strive for a GOLD for IPPT!
after that, left the area, and Jeffrey sent the West-side people home... I'm so glad I don't have to make my way back to Harbour Front by foot
from that day itself, I felt the beauty of life inside a mother's womb. it's just cool la, that a life can actually be formed inside a female's womb. salutations to the great females
the sad thing is that I missed out of celebrating my cousin's birthday! I'm sorry er-jie I didn't mean it. when I reached home, at the first level, I saw my cousin's mother and my 2 cousins, leaving. Gaaaah. Then reach doorstep, saw my 2 other cousins, leaving. boooo. boooo cj you suck. mannn. I'm sooo pissed off at that I wish I can be at both places at the same time @_@
1st May, Labour Day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ER-JIE! MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE~
it's a little late now =/ oh well.
went to Broy's house today, with my other team members + Ben. went to bake gingerbreadman today! met up with everyone else except Broy and Clarence, and took the train all the way to Hougang.
I was late actually -.- supposed to meet at 1045 at Boon Lay. I woke up only at 1030 -.- but ok la, I was late for 2 minutes only
Met up with Clarence and Broy at Hougang, and went to eat lunch, before buying ingredients and going to Broy's house.
I was abit useless there, 'cos I kept watching TV; it was showing I Not Stupid 2. then when I wanted to start helping, the first "help" I did was to topple over a cup of grass jelly. oh, how helpful
but after that, I did help abit la, mixing the dough, sieving the flour and icing sugar, and beating the egg white into cream (which Broy's neighbour helped 70% beating the egg white into cream). however, we spent abit too long -.- the recipe says Preparation Time: 30 minutes. I think we took about 2-3 hours
.
started shaping the gingerbreadman, using the cutter of course. but none of these were done by me. how useful o, Jum~ then baked the gingerbreadman in the oven. it actually tasted ok, and to me, somewhat delicious. *claps~*
'cos of the slow time that we took, we ended up eating dinner at Broy's house. thanks for the noodles~
then we watched TV, played PS2 for awhile, and then started decorating the gingerbreadman. this one is the one I decorated~ tada~
I think I used the wrong colors -.- satisfied with the design, but not with the colors... It looks so cute I don't even bear to eat it now -.-
These are the ones the others decorated. Ben, you missed out the fun~
it was a really fun time la. preparing, baking, decorating. I think it drained almost all of us. everyone was pretty worn out already. hahaha. I want a next time! and this time, I should be helping out on more =/
I thought I got over it
But it was all but a delusion
It was never true
I can't deceive myself
judazfx @ deviantART
I tend to "underlook" things at times, because I don't want to trouble myself with unnecessary issues. But today, after thinking through a few things which I didn't go further into, I realised that I've just been deluding myself.
I realised that my family have been making use of me, because I seldom lie to them. They make use of my "innocence" (I'm really true to my family, there's nothing that I should hide from them), and use them to help themselves. After thinking about it, I get quite pissed off.
My elder brother, my Mum. Maybe my dad, I don't know. I really don't like the way they are taking me as. It's like, taking me for granted. Yes, I should be doing this. But how come, my elder brother is not doing it? And you did it like I'm just a piece of cake for you to bite. I'm disappointed in them sometimes.
But all this while, I've been deluding myself; it's used for better purposes. Since I have no need for it now, I might as well just let them take it. Besides, I don't want to be useless, at least not any worse than my elder brother. At least, it kept me happy for awhile.
I'm not going to let this go on. I really don't like the fact that my elder brother is enjoying without burdens and I actually have to "carry" it for him. I'm still studying, hello.
Forget it, I should just continue blinding myself. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I didn't see certain things. It's okay, for now. Because when I grow up, you'll see.
*****************************************
WARNING: LONG POST. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
30th April
had my company BBQ today!
attempted to go to Labrador park after school, which ended at 6pm. took the train from Dover to Harbour Front, and I started my adventure to Labrador Park, via Foot.
spent awhile trying to get my way there. unfortunately, I made 3 wrong turns when I shouldn't even make them -.- It slowed my way down to the venue. argh.
a supposingly 25 min journey ended up to be about an hour long journey -.- but it's cool. had real fun walking my way there. at least I know the road there better. just a lil bit.
ate quite alot in the BBQ, about 20-30 satays, 2 lamb chops, stingray, sotong, ya da ya da ya da... actually feels great, 'cos everybody is not really talking about work. and it feels really at home, not as warm as I expected it to be. haha.. and we played Bridge! but some of them didn't really know, so spent a few minutes trying to explain the gameplay. But before they could even really get the hang of it, it ended
challenged the pull-up bar there. don't know why. just had a feel of "owning" it. but I've gotten weaker -.- managed to pull up only 5 times and I couldn't make it already. gaaaaah. I'll train harder! I'll strive for a GOLD for IPPT!
after that, left the area, and Jeffrey sent the West-side people home... I'm so glad I don't have to make my way back to Harbour Front by foot
from that day itself, I felt the beauty of life inside a mother's womb. it's just cool la, that a life can actually be formed inside a female's womb. salutations to the great females
the sad thing is that I missed out of celebrating my cousin's birthday! I'm sorry er-jie
I didn't mean it. when I reached home, at the first level, I saw my cousin's mother and my 2 cousins, leaving. Gaaaah. Then reach doorstep, saw my 2 other cousins, leaving. boooo. boooo cj you suck. mannn. I'm sooo pissed off at that I wish I can be at both places at the same time @_@1st May, Labour Day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ER-JIE! MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE~
it's a little late now =/ oh well.
went to Broy's house today, with my other team members + Ben. went to bake gingerbreadman today! met up with everyone else except Broy and Clarence, and took the train all the way to Hougang.
I was late actually -.- supposed to meet at 1045 at Boon Lay. I woke up only at 1030 -.- but ok la, I was late for 2 minutes only
Met up with Clarence and Broy at Hougang, and went to eat lunch, before buying ingredients and going to Broy's house.
I was abit useless there, 'cos I kept watching TV; it was showing I Not Stupid 2. then when I wanted to start helping, the first "help" I did was to topple over a cup of grass jelly. oh, how helpful
but after that, I did help abit la, mixing the dough, sieving the flour and icing sugar, and beating the egg white into cream (which Broy's neighbour helped 70% beating the egg white into cream). however, we spent abit too long -.- the recipe says Preparation Time: 30 minutes. I think we took about 2-3 hours
.started shaping the gingerbreadman, using the cutter of course. but none of these were done by me. how useful o, Jum~ then baked the gingerbreadman in the oven. it actually tasted ok, and to me, somewhat delicious. *claps~*
'cos of the slow time that we took, we ended up eating dinner at Broy's house. thanks for the noodles~
then we watched TV, played PS2 for awhile, and then started decorating the gingerbreadman. this one is the one I decorated~ tada~
I think I used the wrong colors -.- satisfied with the design, but not with the colors... It looks so cute I don't even bear to eat it now -.-
These are the ones the others decorated. Ben, you missed out the fun~
it was a really fun time la. preparing, baking, decorating. I think it drained almost all of us. everyone was pretty worn out already. hahaha. I want a next time! and this time, I should be helping out on more =/
I thought I got over it
But it was all but a delusion
It was never true
I can't deceive myself
Labels: zjlogy