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Strange-1 @ deviantART
starting to not know who I am anymore
I found out I lost a lot of contact with my family
I'm starting to distance myself
I really don't know what I want
so comes NS, taking away 2 years of my life
well, that gives me 2 years to think about it too
should I go University?
crazy-studying
plus school fees
and I don't even know what course I would want
really making me feel like not taking a degree
should I get a good paying job?
or should I get one that I enjoy?
best to get both;
but what if I had to choose one?
I guess good pay is priority?
I seem to grow out of interest
once my interest relates to work anyway
and during the 2 years in NS
what do I want to do?
I get to book out everyday,
and there's loads of free time while in camp -
so I must make good use of the time
that I have been... "blessed" with
I'm thinking of reading up books
maybe to learn a skill or two
or many more skills
but even so
I have to find the right books
or maybe
I can learn to draw better
and start drawing during my free time
as many can see
I've been blinded by money
yes, indeed I am
I'm hungry for it
thirsty for it
greedy for it
all for the sake
of having a safe life in future
but putting myself in this kind of situation now
is it gonna be worth it?
maybe it will, since I'm young and energetic
maybe it won't, since I wasted my youth
kind of sick of all that I'm going through
growing up to adulthood
sure isn't piece of cake
but compared to many others
I'm sure I'm having it a lot easier
even so, I'm just so sick of it
what am I doing?
what do I want to achieve?
what am I aiming for?
what's my purpose here?
3 words - I don't know.
Trouble is a friend,
yeah trouble is a friend of mine
oh oh~